Then and Now

Trails and Trails: Life moves on in a linear pattern, or at least that's how I visualize and experience it. This time continuum starts at birth and we are constantly becoming until our time runs out. Aging allows us to learn lessons, grow and compare our experiences, in this case I am comparing my past to my present, or where I am now on life's trail. 

Comparison Narrative:

When I was five, my goals were mostly goals revolved around pleasing my parents. I always wanted their approval and attention. As far as achieving that goal, I remember being a pretty good listener and they didn't have to ask me to practice things; I did that on my own. For example, I would practice soccer for hours on end, try to read books all by myself and do every chore my parents asked me to do. Once I had completed the task to perfection, I would beg my parents to watch or listen. I am not sure if that is an oldest child thing, but I remember that was important to me. However as a five year old, my long terms goals were a bit less realistic. I wanted to be a mermaid or a brain surgeon. I think this is pretty typical of little kids. At five years old, life is very new and you can imagine becoming anything, no limitations, not even reality, but as you grow older things become more real, more complicated. Now my short term goals now are more specific, for example just to be organized for the day. I have a planner and calendars everywhere in my life: on my desk, on the refrigerator, in my car, in my gym bag even. I also have daily, weekly and monthly lists to keep everything straight. Still I misplace and forget things occasionally, but I try my best to stay organized and prepared. Life moves much faster now than it did when I was five; it seems like every second matters and needs to be scheduled, and the pace seems to be speeding up each year. As far as long term goals, I think as a general statement, I want to leave people, things, places that enter my life better than when I found them; generally, these will outlast me. Life is bigger than me and I guess I just want to leave a positive imprint wherever I tread.

The biggest lesson I have learned as I have matured has to do with judgment and experience. As a child or young adult, my experience was quite limited and I only knew the world in the brief context of my experience. So, I judged people and things according to my own narrow perspective. What I have learned about judgment is that hasty assumption reflects immaturity, ignorance and arrogance. Assuming that you know the full story about someone or some event, assuming that you know how to do something you have never done or assuming you know the effort which it takes to complete a task you have never done is a result of inexperience and limited or narrow perspective. After “knowing it all” at one stage in my life; I realize that I will never know it all; there is too much to know. I realize that knowledge is gained from asking questions and trying new things which may mean putting yourself at risk of failure or embarrassment.  Although I look back at that "know it all" stage with a little bit of embarrassment and regret now; I do realize that it is all part of growing up and maturing. I now appreciate that nothing is as easy as it seems. Individuals put time and effort into their professions, hobbies, activities, lives, families. To ever assume that anything is easy without actually trying it only reveals one's ignorance and arrogance.